hypocrite.

pretty. cool.
selective. judgmental.
annoying. weird.

too emotional. lame.
humourless. bad-looking.
stupid. fake.
i don't want to be here anymore.

i think i'm extremely tired.

i'm finding things like narcolepsy and tourette's syndrome hilarious. it's not that funny. it's really not funny at all. okay, maybe the cheerleader girl who screams obsceneties in the middle of her cheer-routine in that movie deserves a little giggle.

anyway, everybody is annoying. everybody is stupid. i feel like i'm boxed in. and that's when i look for things to laugh at, and shout about. feel a little. 

it is, after all, a little hard to come by lately.

everybody is picking on my today. mr ratz, mrs neethling, tannie dipp.

god, i hate this fucking school.

(is it just me, or does the pinkish dust in the picture make a skull?)

i'll just hide under my blanket today, and practice things like breathing softly, so that my mind won't wander. it'll work. i'll also be listening to pretty hayley or angelina, and that'll probably make everything better.

not always, though.

that's where it comes in.

ah, fuck it, give me that damn bucket

overall this weekend was pretty sweet. the last twenty four hours though, like on their own - not so fucking sweet.

like, wtf. what were you doing last night, touching me, tugging on my hand when we both know it's never going to be any more than "oh, yeah, her, we kissed."

you look at me like i'm what you want and it kills me to look back at you and know that you've really been practicing in the mirror at home, or you're just a natural at pretending.

 because i want to believe you when you look at me like that, touch me like that.

please leave me alone now, i don't want to like you anymore.

it makes me want to throw-up. the bad kind.

ugh. then she comes along, again, and she just messes with my head, and she messes with my life, and she messes with everything i have, everything i want.

please go away, because i hate you, and i don't want to hate you, but i do, and i'm sorry. i can't help hating the way you just fuck with everything. it's not your place, but you just whine your way in everywhere like a little bitch.

and i've had enough of this shit.

anyway. other than that, life is dandy.

it's only the people that screw with it.

and you're such a hypocrite it's a joke.