elevator straight into my skull.

you beat me to it, he beat me to it, she beat me to it.

it was considerably shit of her to leave like that, we're kids, and now she's crying, she's grovelling. she says she's scared it's going to leave a 'scar' on our relationship. well, wake the fuck up, honey. i think i've learnt that mixing alcohol results in ugly things, things like slaps and screams.

she said things she shouldn't have, and my sister just told me she wishes i had a car, so that we could run away and never come back. she said it sincerely, i'm scared she hates it here. and i get to leave for week after week, and she's stuck. although, it's not like the place i go is paradise personified. it's kinda a stuffy shithole.

as soon as i can drive, i'm going to kidnap her, and were going to go be cool somewhere else. smoke lots of cigarettes, drink lots of good coffee. we're going to go watch gigs, and we're going to play guitar, and use the inside of the guitar as an ashtray, because ash won't change the sound. we'll just have to throw the butts away somewhere else.

anyway, maybe i should just pull myself out of that daydream before it gets way too good.

this is shit!
fuck, what would i do without the kills? what did i do before them?