you only ever had her when you were a fever.

today is: emotionally exhausting, internally gruelling, and a horribly stretched out oxymoron.

it's been one day, i don't want to unleash my intensity and scare her off, like it scares everybody off. she brings out an immediate reaction, immediate interest.

i feel like we could be really good friends, if something else, something romantic, doesn't get in the way and screw it up first.

or, it could get in the way and be the best thing ever to happen to me, instead of screw it up.

i feel irrationally teary-eyed, so vulnerable that one bitter remark results in simultaneous implosions and explosions of my being.

i want to runaway, i want to run to her, she wouldn't judge like you would. she'd understand.

because i don't want my heart to trip when our eyes meet anymore. i don't want to feel that a second longer, i want it to change. i don't want to want.

i'm so confused, our changes clash and it's too bad that it's happening at the same time.

my head is spinning.