who gives a fuck?

i post a lot, i think i post a lot because i feel
i almost got all cheesy and typed 'dear blog'
if i restart this post one more time i'm going to cry get annoyed.

what are you thinking? what am i thinking?
what are we thinking?

i'm thinking that this weather heat should be punishable by law
i'm thinking that easy a is a cool movie, and that i'm in love with emma stone
i'm also thinking that the little photobooth pictures that show when the credits of a lot like love roll, i'm thinking that they're really cute, and that i want some of them too, some of my own
i'm thinking that the first part of that sentence did not make perfect sense

hey, asshole, wanna dance? wanna take this outside? because i want to slap you and punch your nose and scratch and bite your arm or something like that.

i'm thinking that love stories make me sad
i'm thinking that feelings, in general, are sad
i'm thinking that even when we're happy, we're sad
because nothing ever really has a happy ending, does it?

my nailpolish is chipping off
i can't fall asleep
nathaniel is louder than i thought

there's this girl, right, and i lied to her, and i don't know if she knows. i don't know if she'll ever know. she deserves to know, though.

i could probably go on until the sun comes up, go on talking this shit to nobody at all. at least its like a way of venting, saying things i couldnt or wouldnt normally say.

what would i normally say?

todd: olive, screw all these people.
olive: haven't you heard?

        ...i already did.

i love easy a i love easy a i love easy a. partly because the name 'olive penderghast' is so unlucky and yet she makes it cool. partly because i'd love to talk like she talks. partly because she's so pretty and funny and sweet and she has such a corky laugh. partly because she fails so bad at being sexy that it turns out being sexy. mostly because of emma stone, really.

you know when your life is sad? when everybody starts ignoring you. like dominoes, it starts at one of them, and then another and then another and then another and another and another and another, and when you take a step back and look at yourself, you're standing alone and you're like "uhm wtf happened? where did everybody go? oh, yeah, i fucked up and they fucked off".

i want a cigarette and i miss my friends.