25.8.10

my only weakness is knowing your secret.

it's really really quiet in here, i just got kicked out of class.
again.

i think i'm a jealous person, and i can't help it. not with like friends or anything, but like.. yeah, i don't know, with friends too. and like, dude, i hate facebook. like, a lot. i say the word 'like' quite often.

what am i supposed to do with myself.
why don't you ever say anything back.
it's not like i'm going to ask you.
idiot.

and i want to know, i want to know everything. because not knowing gets to me, a little. i don't think i can come up with anything suitable right now, i'm feeling pretty lifeless. and numb. and lame. but i'm feeling a little out of breath, and i'm feeling the things i haven't said, and the things you wish you didn't.

i'm feeling those days when all i wanted was your absence. now the moments with you just slip by, and the clock keeps ticking, and i know i may be making it worse than it is, but i wish i could take back everything, start over, and do it the right way.

i wish i could just go back to grade two. or something. start over.
because as i sit here, stuck in the middle of all these people i won't ever have enough of, all i can think of is going back, and doing it over.

this regret, my regret; it's too potent and it stings too much.
it tastes bad when i swallow, and it burns me when i'm smiling.

it's acid in my eyes, and it's blurring everything i see.

oh, shit.
major melodramatisization.
i hope that's even a word, or i'll have to come back and change it later. or like, i just won't, and i'll just leave it, and be cool like shakespeare, make some words up.

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