i'll kill her.

i don't feel too well, and it's really dark in this kitchen. i can only see the outlines of the keys i'm typing with, and it's quite disorientating.

i'm going to go to steph now, but the problem is, i haven't got a card for her. which is impersonal.

i'll just make one now.

i'm definitely sick, my neck hurts, my head hurts, my whole body hurts, and i can't stop sniffling and sneezing and coughing. and then i get an asthma attack on top of it all because of the sneezing and coughing.

i've been alone at home now since around three, and i fell asleep with all the doors and windows wide open, and when i woke up, there was somebody in the kitchen, and i was so so so scared.

turned out that it was only my sister's friend looking for her, who is at musical practice, but i think it was supposed to be done at five, i wonder where she is then?

i wonder where the whole family is, actually. i'm supposed to be at steph already. i don't hope they have forgotten. if i have to sit locked up in this house for one more hour, i'll start pulling my hair out. there's too much to think about here, i need some pretty distractions.

my nose feels raw. and i'm dizzy too. but i'm going to pop pills and make my way to the slumber party.

i'm excited to see bliss and lee-ann and franki. yay.

i'm still all sentimental. i think i'm fucking screwed, because i don't think like people are supposed to think. i've been paying attention, and whenever somebody is crushing on somebody, they push them aside and do schoolwork. they talk about how they need to get them off their mind. they ask others how to stop liking them, how to get their heart from disappearing.

i do the exact opposite.

i think i may be a hopeless romantic.

i also think i'm a little bit in love with everybody.