i'm not.

these people are writing these songs, and they're just making too much sense.

my legs are going to fall off. and my elbows. and i can't sleep.
this is pointless.

"after all the time
after you
had you seen me with someone new
hanging so high for your return
but the stillness is a burn

had I seen it in your eyes
there'd have been no try after try
your leaving had no goodbye
had I just seen one in your eyes

I can't give it up
to someone elses touch
because I care too much

could you tell
I was left lost and lonely
could you tell
things ain't worked out my way

wish the best for you
wish the best for me
wished for infinity
if that ain't me

give it up
I can't give it up

I can't give it up
to someone elses touch
because I care too much

give it up
I can't give it up"


"please don't say we're done

when I'm not finished
I could give so much more
make you feel, like never before
welcome, they said welcome to the floor

it's been a while
and you've found someone better
but I've been waiting too long to give this up
the more I see, I understand
but sometimes, I still need you

sometimes, I still need you

and I was struggling to get in
left waiting outside your door
I was sure
you'd give me more

no need to come to me
when I can make it all the way to you
you made it clear
you weren't near
near enough for me

heart skipped a beat
and when I caught it you were out of reach
but I'm sure, I'm sure
you've heard it before"

it's scarily accurate.

my head feels thick, and a little dizzy. i think i've got a cold.
or something.

i'm glad it's weekend, i have a 21st tonight, i have to dress up as marilyn monroe. dress, wig, mole and all.
i also have to sing happy birthday like she did for jf kennedy.

i don't know how to be sultry and sexy, i'm awkward. it's going to be a mess.
hopefully i'll be drunk by then, because then it'll be a ridiculously hilarious mess.

on saturday it's steph's thing for her birthday.
slumber party, whoo :)

i'm hoping things will work out like i want them to, because then i'll have no problem.
i'll be good.

i don't want to take a chance anyway.

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