21.11.10

chemicals in my brain.

i'm having one of those terrible days when everything seems lonely. it's as if there aren't enough loved ones, friends - people, even - to satisfy my longing. i want to go on every social network and talk to people. i hate social networks. screw that, i want to walk to somebody's house and have conversations that will last for forever.

but of course, the day i crave human company, everyone is busy. everyone is unavailable. and i need some reassurance. but everyone's busy.

i'm not sad or anything, i just lack laughter at the moment. friends would fix that, though. am i blabbing again?

we are what you say we are, i agree with you. i agree with everything you said. how do we fix it though? because if it were to be fixed, everything would be so much easier. and smoother. but that's easier said than done.

excitement, anxiety, exhilaration, anticipation, nervousness, clammy hands, dry mouth. lick your lips, wipe your hands on your jeans. rock back and forth, tickle her leg. lean on her, give her a coronary. push her up against the wall. swallow, deep breath. exhale. desire, close your eyes, the proximity is torture. this is what we live for. kiss her.

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