i don't even know why i'm blogging now; it's late and i should be asleep.
i struggle to fall asleep, my mind is overactive.
i have come to a conclusion; i suffer from ADHD of the heart. it's a terrible ailment and i believe it detracts the beauty of feeling, and attraction. [thanks bliss, for that word :)]
i don't understand the whole 'number' theory, because that's not how it is.
boys are kind of cute, i guess. i think i could work my way there, i think i could get over girls and maybe like a boy. boy is a cute word. boy boy boy.
they're just so rough, and so hard to relate to.
you know when you stare at someone's face for a long while, and their face changes and becomes ugly? it doesn't happen with you - you become prettier, and you're just so fucking hot. i sort of want to ravish you.
anyway. i like that word: anyway. anyway, anyway, anyway. i like words.
i like you, and it's weird how i still like you. usually, by now, i'd be kind of over you. but i liked you, i like you, and i probably will still like you later. it's nice to have some kind of consistency in this world of ADHD i live in. maybe one day i can invent a pill, like ritalin, that will calm the heart and not the head, and then i can think things through, before falling in obsession again.
my eyes are burning, and so is something else, so i'm going to go to bed before i spontaneously combust, which would be cool, to die so dramatically. touch wood, though. if you're reading this, whoever you are, please touch wood for me. serious. touch wood.
flavoured water, prawn cocktails, a cigarette, your blue-green ancient beanie, and a hoodie with a hole in its pocket. and pyjama pants with a whole lot of frog faces on it. life's good. i like being half-child half-adult, it's sweet. i like how there's an in between. normally there isn't, normally it's just all or nothing.
did you touch the wood?