wednesday, bloody wednesday.

wednesday is such an uneventful day. what happens on a wednesday? nothing.

except, town. but i'm not at hostel so, for now, wednesdays are uneventful, too long and boring. maybe it's good that it's long so that i can fucking study. not much of that is taking place, and i don't get why i'm not in an absolute parry now; i haven't started.

today is a beautiful day, again, though the sun is a little too hot to spend a lot of time in it. maybe i should swim, apparently you tan easily in water.

i just smothered my face in sunblock. i look like a fucking joke, my whole face is as white as snow and it's hilarious, i wish i wasn't alone because if someone was here, it would probably be funnier. oh well, at least i won't get freckles now. my freckles are out of control, they're just making babies at the speed of light. they're everywhere, and it sucks, because it looks like i'm brunette version of a ginge. did you dye your hair? no, why? oh.. i thought you were originally a gin - a redhead. I KNOW I HAVE A LOT OF FRECKLES.

even my lips are as white as my skin. all you can see is my eyes, and my nostrils, and gums and metal when i smile. i'm going to get to work and start rubbing it in.

i'm done, i look sorta normal now, though my skin looks like paste, and i look violently ill.

do you wanna know what sucks? like, really, really sucks? when she asks me those things. it's not that i don't want her to know, it's just that, she should know without having to ask. and when she asks me i always screw it up somehow. i should just keep my mouth shut for forever, starting now. i'm never going to get mushy again, i'm never going to be lovey dovey again, and no more sentimentality. it just always screws things up.

actually no, i will be. in about 30 minutes i'm probably going to catch myself staring into space dreaming all sentimentally, thinking lovey dovey thoughts. maybe i'll just never voice those things again. just sit around daydreaming mushy things, and n - ah just shut the fuck up.

who cares anyway.

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